Note: this post was originally written as an Atomic Essay as part of Ship 30 for 30 and posted on Twitter. I’ve copied the essay content here so it isn’t just lost in the endlessness of the Twitter feed. Enjoy!
We have some interesting words in the English language to describe people who don’t conform to society’s standards. 😬
Contrarian. Nonconformist. Rebellious. Unconventional. Counterculture.
If you knew me in my younger years, you would never think any of those terms applied to me. The list would have been more like: Compliant. Agreeable. Friendly. Helpful.
For years I kept my rebellious ways a secret. 🤫
I didn’t feel comfortable sharing my opinions. I hid parts of myself behind my need to fit in. I showed up as a watered-down version of myself.
Realization Doesn’t Always Lead to Transformation
When I started to feel restless in my life about 10 years ago, it forced me to take a look at myself. I wish I could tell you I had an epiphany and everything changed, but that is not even close to my reality.
I struggled with the contradiction between my authentic self and who I presented to the world for years.
I felt stuck in how I thought I should be living my life. 😔
Slow Progress is Still Progress
As I slowly started to share more of my true self with others, I felt more alive than I had in years. I started to accept that it was ok to be different.
Yet, even after a decade of progress in this area, I’ve still been using the phrase “secret rebel.” There is no reason for it to be a secret 🤦🏼♀️
So in keeping with the theme of naming and claiming today, I’m claiming my status as a rebel, contrarian, and nonconformist–proudly so.
I have absolutely zero f*cks to give if someone else doesn’t like it. 💥
